What Once Was
by Alexawynters
Summary: In the blink of an eye, all we had was lost.


Disclaimer: Don't own Selena "Russo" or Demi "Munroe". Did I mention I'm a broke ass?

Prompt: Do you even know how much it hurt that you gave up on me to be with her? Revenge is sweeter than you ever were. Are you even listening when I talk to you? Do you even care what I'm going through? – The Veronicas

Selena's POV

Ten years… ten long years of friendship gone. Flushed down the drain without so much as a backwards glance. At the drop of a dime, you let everything we had go. And for what? A second rate 'best' friend, whose just riding your coattails? Everyone knows she's not going anywhere. She had her five seconds of fame and now she's just using you for all you're worth. Sure, I bet, both of you view each other as best friends. As equals. But we both know that's not reality. Eventually she'll slide out of your life and into oblivion as your career moves forward.

Great choice.

I guess we weren't really all that much better off though, are we? Doing your own rocker chick thing, gaining momentum in the music world, whereas I am still doing Disney movies. Don't worry though. I'm going to make my way to the top right there with you. It might take me a different route than you, and maybe a bit longer to shed the 'good girl' image and take on more adult roles, but don't doubt for a second that I won't make it. We might not be standing side by side as friends, but –we- will be equals.

I won't lie. That short phone call all but shattered my world. I suppose for all intents and purposes it did. I am not the sheltered princess I used to be. My eyes are opened and I see the world laid out before me. Things are not so blissfully innocent as I'd once assumed. Its not always a pretty sight. In fact its often just downright depressing.

I never would have thought you would have been the one to let go. After all the time you spent convincing me we'd be together forever, the 'Dream Team', I really thought we might've stood a chance. Every ounce of assurance I finally mustered up thanks to you was almost immediately obliterated as soon as I got it. When I needed you to believe me most, you turned your back on me. Never once did you ask for my side of the story. Never did you ask what really happened. One would have thought that all those years of friendship would have at the very least added to that right.

Of course not.

After everything we've been through my words meant nothing to you. Instead you yelled at me, not letting me get a word in edge-wise. Insults were tossed my way. A comparison was made that can not be taken back. Forgiven? Maybe. Forgotten? No.

Award shows are a pain. Working for the same company means that we have to attend most of the same events. From across the room our eyes meet and it's like you're not even there. No pain. No sadness or regret, no emotion whatsoever. The only thing that can be gleaned is the obvious fact that if I'm there, you would rather be anywhere else. Awkward silences, forced conversations.

What the hell is wrong with you? Do you even care what I'm going through?

I'm not quite as callous. It's not in my nature to just let someone go, especially not someone I've spent ten years of my life with. The pain I feel even at the mere mention of your name was enough to send me to the floor in agony. Heartbroken. I know you can see it in my eyes. We ran in the same circle. Ask anyone, they'll tell you what a wreck I was.

Now though… I still hurt, but it's more of a dulling ache. Eventually I'm sure it will pass. Not that you'd ever care to know. Did you know I check up on you? I ask around, trying to make sure you're okay, despite everything. Any time I get wind of you in pain, I do all I can to fix it from afar. Call it stalker-ish, but I'd rather be a stalker-ish caring ex best friend than a cold hearted vampire. Slowly though, the checkups are becoming less frequent. As we officially become separate entities with no solution to this mess in sight, I see that in time I'll have to let you go entirely.

I'm learning to live my life without you. Some day's I'm happier. Others I remember and cry myself to sleep. Those days are coming less and less. Soon I'll forget your face, and when we meet again years from now at the top of our game, I'll smile politely and vaguely try to recall your name. After a few moments something else will require my attention and all traces of you will be lost from my mind forever.

Author's Note: I could give you lots of excuses all about my life and why I haven't finished my fics. The end result however is, I don't have the heart to. I've lost something I once viewed as my whole world. Even if I were to get it back, it would never be the same. Frankly, I don't want it back. The world is a bitter place. Yeah. It sucks. For those of you who think friendship lasts forever: grow up. It doesn't. No matter how strong you are, certain tests WILL break you. If you're lucky, some of you won't ever have to face those tests. Wish to argue with me on the subject? Go ahead. I probably wont get it. I rarely even read fanfic on here anymore, so the likelihood of me getting your message? Slim. Still, you're welcome to try. If they get finished, they get finished whenever they get finished. No more empty promises.


End file.
